birds
by for the pandas
Summary: collection of oneshots - I'm not going to give you some cute, sappy confession. Maybe I'll kill someone that you hate and give you the corpse. Because everything I do is my way of showing love.  DeiSaku


**A/N**: Alriiight, revised after like 4 years =] I plan on continuing this because I've rekindled my love for DeiSaku, but this a collection of oneshots from the infamous explosives master and the pink-haired kunoichi.

**thefirstone  
title**: can you tell?  
**genre**: romance/drama/a tad angst-y  
**warnings**: =[ Sorry it's kind of lame.  
**things**: Sort of based off the wonder of the song that is "I LOVE YOU" (mika). I suck at the songfics, so it's not one. And Deidara is a stalker because he can be. Sort of OOC.

_I want to be by your side everyday, but I know it's impossible. This barrier that keeps us apart will stay put for a long time, maybe even forever. But I will keep on loving you, even though I won't tell you. Because if I do, the joy will be put short and it will only pain you further to have to be with me. A cold-blooded murderer who has killed those of innocent lives, and ripped out the souls of demon containers without a second thought. But I love you, the apprentice of the Godaime Hokage, and you cannot stop me._

I see you tonight, among the many ninja of Konoha, at the annual party held for only the best. You are one of the best, you proved that by killing my Akatsuki partner, Sasori. The clouds are hiding the moonlight but you still look stunning, and it annoys me that I can't take you in my arms right now.

You are beauty; you have proved Sasori's art theory. Beauty is forever, through life and death. I only wonder what would have happened if I had grown up in Konoha, without the Akatsuki.

Your smile disappears as a drunk shinobi, one of the best shinobi albeit, comes over to you and begins to whisper things that only I can whisper into your ear. I grind my teeth together and I notice that your team, Team 7, I recall you telling me and reading in the files, is getting frustrated as well and are ready to kick his ass just as much as I am. But then you push him away yourself, showing that you are strong enough on your own, no matter how much everyone close to you refuses to accept it.

You're fretting now, wondering what will happen, now that you've turned down a vital shinobi of Konoha. "Will he even remember?" you mutter, while fixing yourself. I love it when you worry; you look cute, but don't do it to much. It makes me worry, and I'm not meant to worry.

It doesn't really matter if you don't love me, because I will love you, and only you. I know you don't understand it when I just hold you or talk to you. You make me happy, and I hope I make you happy too. I will let you down too many times to count, and I have, but I can't stop.

Do you ever think about the future? I want to really have a future with you, despite how I act. We could flee, but they would find us. Is it okay just to love like this?

The party is over, and now it's snowing. You're cold, I know, so when they're all gone, I rush over to you.

I have offered you my red-clouded robe several times before, but you have always refused. I can tell that you think it will make you one of _us_, but your innocence will not be tainted. It is just a robe, right?

Today is the first time you have accepted it, and I am overflowed with joy. This wordless action is my telling you of my love, even though you don't understand. I wrap my arms around you and hug you.

"Are you okay?"

You nod, but I can tell you are lying.

"You're lying," I voice, my breath tickling your neck. You squirm, but I don't let go. "What did he say to you?"

You don't answer, but I know it's because you're afraid. I don't want to hurt you, so I let you go and begin to walk away.

"Wait!" you call out, but barely. I turn around, the mouths in my hand anxiously licking themselves. You have me waiting to kiss you, but your rejection of me means more than you can understand.

"Can you…stay?" you ask.

I want to, more than anything. But I can't, and you know that. "Can you come?" I respond in the same way.

You ponder this. You have to say no, but you want to say yes, don't you? I hope you do.

"Maybe just this once," you answer, and I give somewhat of a smile.

My smile is weak, and I don't want to do this. I want you to stay with me forever, and that's how it will be. You're just as powerless as I am when it comes to this—we've both succumbed to the love we're not allowed to have, yet I'm the only one who cares enough to act on it. "We can go together—but forever, my love, please."

Before you can think about this, I have knocked you out and you are on my bird, flying away. I don't wanted to hurt you, I really don't. This is the only solution, though, and both you and I know it.

The next morning you wake up in a room that you have never been in before and panic. Then Kisame walks in your room, gives you breakfast, and laughs when you test it for poisoning.

"What the hell?" he asks, and you shrug.

Now I'm standing in the doorway, and your jade eyes open wide. You're so beautiful. I step towards you, unsure if you are okay. I've done something drastic without your permission, and I don't want you to be sad.

"Deidara," you say, and I look down.

"Yes?"

"Look at me." Your voice trembles, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I look up, expecting tears, and I see them. You clasp the edge of my robe, pulling me in for a tiny, delicate kiss that barely touches my lips, but my stomach drops because I realize that _you are okay_, and that's all I need to know.

"I…"

"Goddammit, you love me," you say, with a mix of anger, passion, and sweetness. "And for some reason, I've got you in my head too, and you know…"

"You love me too," I say, cocking my head, nervous.

You nod, and give me another warm hug that I don't know if I deserve, but my eyelids close, and we meld together.


End file.
